The Dreamer's Odyssey Part 2 -Copyright Robert Fullarton 2008

 The Dreamer's Odyssey Part 2 -Copyright Robert Fullarton 2008



VII

“Oh Lord please help me, please God”, I cried out in the adrenaline of fear that I felt.

To my absolute amazement I looked around to realize that I was wake again and back fully conscious again in my attic bedroom. My whole body dripped with sweat, and my heart pounded in a severe state of palpation. I caught my breath and tried hard to relax my nervousness. I looked at the wooden bedroom door and I could see nothing surprising about it, “looks normal to me”, I thought to myself. By now it was half seven in the morning and the sunlight shone right through the gap in the curtain so I decide to go and get myself tied up and groomed and fully dressed for work. But first I went and had a cold shower, cold enough to wake myself up, and get to grips with the reality around me.

As stood in the shower, facing the water and washing off the shampoo from my scalp, I began to think about all that had happened to me and the adventure that I undertook.

The dreams were so creative and so lifelike, and I wondered if Benson was meant to represent my ultimate enemy or evil itself, I shook my head in anguish at thinking on the very thoughts again. Maybe it was all in accordance with fate, but whatever it was it was gone and that was that. I spent the rest of the morning concentrating on getting myself in on time for work, so switched off on the subject and went out the door an off to work.

I had worked five years for a solicitor’s firm, dealing with civil litigation, drafting and filing for clients with civil action and I also dealt part time on many occasions with equitable issues on land purchases and conveyances for an estate agent. The solicitor I worked for hired a team of employees to deal with over two dozen clients on an active weekly basis. I was not on friendly terms with anyone on the job, I was never invited to any of the social activities or even the Christmas party, and my boss I felt took advantage of me, often getting me to fill in for staff members, working as late as half nine in the night. I basically found the work exhausted and the pay never compensated for the extra work. So I asked myself, why did I bother with them why didn’t I resign I had been asking my self that very question for a very long time. My work colleagues were sarcastic, cynical and tightly knit in their social grouping. As I worked in my office streaming through a folder of files my boss approached me, “Hey Michael I thought you were finished on Mr. Keller’s copy on the Notice of Motion”,

“No sir, almost done though, and by the way I’m Matthew, not Michael, sir!”

“Oh sorry I forgot, anyway finish up pronto otherwise you’ll have to work overtime tonight.” How could he forget my name again! Either he suffered from some form of amnesia or he was just plain ignorant, I think the later was more realistic.

                                                                                   That afternoon as I sat at my desk in my office on my lunch break, I began to contemplate on my future and the way things would go if I didn’t drastically do something major to change things and avert myself from going mad. In hindsight I realized that the adventure was fun and that it was beyond doubt and skepticism to question anymore the truth that it was my fate, it was realistic so realistic that I decided as soon as I return I am going back in there and I’m going to face whatever terror I have to face. I was single with no attachments, my family was all dead and I was almost bankrupt having wasted all my money on stocks and shares so I had nothing to lose.

                       That night I lay in the bed, my motivation and encouragement were stronger than ever. I took a sleeping tablet to help me fall into a deep, deep sleep, and I lay there half awake and half asleep at half past ten.

                                                                  

                                                                 VIII

Almost as quick as lightning, my eyes beheld the door once more, and now it felt as though I were floating towards the door, its beckoning light grabbed me in like an invisible tractor beam, then it opened as if by magic and a blinding white light overwhelmed my sight. When my sight returned a minute later, I beheld the splendor of the world locked inside my dreams its symbolic meaning and hidden purpose stood tall within the objective I sought to conquer. I walked down the plateau of purple mountains, behold the lighthouse was radiating light all through the four corners of the world like never before, almost as though it were a shadow beforehand.

                                                                                               Briskly I walked in admiration through the gorgeous hilltops, valleys and woodland before I found my path divulging onto the main street of the township and I still had no name to call it. I walked through the Bavarian style township and to my great surprise found the townspeople,, knights and dwarfs and all the strange peoples themselves cheering and applauding my arrival, they literally stopped still in their work and smiled with beams of gold to my mere presence. If only the conscious world could have more damn friendly and polite people like these ones. I could see strangely enough that the township was larger than I realized with dozens of main squares and side streets extending all around. After awhile, I thought “that’s enough sight seeing” and I ventured back to the main square. I nodded and smiled in respect to those who waved and greeted me, which was virtually everyone.

I felt elevated in the trust of these people even if they were all an illusion of some kind from my imagination.

                                 

Then I was tapped ever so gently upon my right shoulder at the main square’s fountain, as I turned around I need not have guessed to find my Grandmother standing there  in glorious white again smiling and laughing in merriment.

“Matthew I am glad you came back again, I wish you had never and gone back to that world! However you were over come with fear and doubt and you lost control that’s why the lighthouse light faded, you’re understanding completely vanished in an instant.

Now you know what you must do, remember that you’re armor is symbolic love of the love that defines and charters the quest itself and defines you’re true heart’s desire. Bravery is the weapon you need against you’re ultimate foe, courage is symbolic of the sword you lost, and you fled when you lost it.

“I know now what I must do and if I by some miraculous chance reach the summit of those mountains and go through the castle gate, there I hope to face the power that can turn back time and reveal the extraordinary, the supernatural and the unimaginable, for you say the castle is symbolic of Hope and my greatest desire.”

“Yes, but what you will face no living mortal man or woman has come back to tell except those beyond death itself. When you return, I will be you’re guardian in the conscious life on earth and the hereafter, when we will all live in the ultimate grandeur of our dreams.

God speed Matthew.” I waved goodbye slightly saddened by her departure yet again, she vanished from my sight before I could call her back.

                                                                                 In the corner of my eye, Holden, approached me, wrapped up in his huge brown coat smoking his pipe, he winked again at me and carried forth yet again a coat of armor with a fine steel sword and a shield with a black griffin engraved on it, reminded of something from old East Prussia.

“Here lad, take you’re armor and everything you need, I found it all dumped in the river outside the forest adjacent to the black tower. I made you a brand new sword from our local smith, made especially for you in you’re honour sir. Here, it’s made from the finest steel. “Thank you sir, you are indeed truly noble and you’re kindness extends beyond all measures.” “Stop, trying to flatter me with words”, he jested, “now come on sir you can’t face a monster of the past in you’re pyjamas, go into the stable and get changed and ready to fight, by the way here is you’re horse.” “No, of course not sir that would be stupid”, I remarked rudely. He pointed me to a handsome pale white stallion that lay tethered in the stables. “He’s tamed and all, and he is as fast as Halley’s Comet and you will reach the tower in no time”. I named the horse Eric after my father strangely enough; however I then decided to call him moonbeam because of his speed and his pale complexion.

                                                                                                                                 I rode out for my confrontation and said farewell to Holden, all the knights and the seven dwarfs of course as well. I felt like King Arthur after uncovering Excalibur and as if I were to duel with Mordred himself. The horse galloped full speed through the forest gathering a whirlwind of dust behind my long and narrow trail. The birds of the forest treetops all circulated high above my sky and my white silver armour bore a glowing sheen of light and it glowed as if by magic while I rode in glory towards the accursed tower itself.

                                                                                                                                  Suddenly though as if were hit by and invisible arrow my sense convulsed in a horrid spasm and my body seized up, pain and fear cause an immense pain that throbbed at my temples. Then my horse neighed and shook and before I new it I was flung off the horse and into a side ditch. “aaaaagh”, I cried in anger and pain, my right knee was bleeding and my forehead cut with several minor wounds.

I did not suffer internal wounds, so I limped out of the ditch forcing my body weight up, I sat on the road and I ripped the satchel emptying its contents and I wrapped it around my right knee tightly at the gap in my armor, and I decided once again to seize the initiative and I strolled forward to the haunting tower that glared to me in my hazy maddening sight. I abandoned the horse and the anchor for I felt there was no use for neither at this point. I leaped across the trench of the tower’s moat and with a shred of confidence and valiant courage within me I kicked the door in with all my energy. Forward it went the weak wooden door down on the floor and I went up the spiraling staircase to proceed to the council room at the very top and face him. As I walked up the twisting staircases, everything was silent, too silent; the only thing I could hear was the sound of my armor tapping against the stairs as I climbed them cautiously. I was not too hasty or foolish, I did not rush in but I simply found myself prepared and ready for the conflict with Benson. My mind was in a mantra of repetitive thinking to remind myself why I did what I did, and the love that I had within me could surely conquer anything he conjured from his ghoulish presence.

                                 
I turned the cold handle to open the attic door, and yet again a fire was blazing in a black fireplace in the right hand corner of the room parallel to the door, everything was black in the room even the books on the bookshelf were black. I looked around the room gazing half scared to find Benson but he lay no where in sight.

Then I looked and saw a large golden treasure trove, underneath the book shelf to my left near the very top stained glass window. Then I turned around and saw him in horror he stood at the doorway not laughing but with a cruel menacing scowl upon his face, he carried a large axe in his hand and he wore his gigantic black iron suit of metal, his bloodshot eyes immediately pierced my fear. Then I realized in a miraculous turn of events what Holden’s riddle, meant.

“What is the adversary of fortitude and the only thing truly worth fearing?”

“fear!” I shouted aloud to myself. Benson was not the symbol of evil or my ultimate enemy, he was the symbol of my fear, a terrible adversary in its own way and the nature of the battle fought was of courage against fear. Then I thought again to myself, even though he was now pacing forward very slowly towards me. “What do all bullies have in common”, I thought to myself, “they are all insecure false beings, cowards within themselves who prey on other people for their warped ideals of pleasure.” Benson was an illusion of the past and I had to silence the problems of my past once and for all.

                                                                                                                              He swung his axe almost hitting me on the armor near the shoulder; I turned with all speed and twisted past him to the right of the room. I could find no trace of fear within my heart I felt the master over him, a mere mouse in comparison with what I thought of him before.

I drove the sword through this heart as fast as a flash of lightening, screaming in determination, I struck  hard against his armor of mighty oak, toppling him over, and out the stained glass window where he plummet and crashed on the ground beneath the tower with a mighty roar emitting from his horrid mouth. Blood and glass were left in his trail in the room above.

                                              IX

As I left the tower feeling high and mighty with the key from the treasure trove securely in my palm, I watched in awe as the tower transformed from its sullen and morbid black bricked structure to a pale, ghostly white colour as if it had died. I climbed up on the saddle of the horse and he road post haste back through the woodlands and out to the centre of the town. As I arrived everyone hailed me and congratulated me in my hour of victory, three dwarfs at the edge of the forest unveiled a large marble monument of me in my honour. On it I wore my armor and was holding my sword up high, this was a special prestige upon their behalf. The townspeople emptied out of each of their houses and shops and they littered the streets displaying markets and stall of food and drink, with all kinds of delicious delicacies from sweet to sour all unbelievably my favorite dishes.

The Bavarian houses were decorated with woven linen and flax reeling across the roofs of every house. “You set us free sir from that Dark lord and his tower it haunted us too, it didn’t take long for all the people to sculpt a great statute of you,”

whispered a knight into my ear, standing in his shining white armor, smiling at me.

“I’m thrilled with it, thank you very much, but I have to admit I don’t even know any of you!”

“Sir”, replied a dwarf to me “we’ve been waiting for you for a long time.”

After I had indulged in the merry celebrations and feasted on the fine food and drink from the market stalls,

             I wandered off back up to the huge limestone carved fountain and away from the growing crowds. I sat down and watched Mr. Holden sit down beside me on the edge of the fountain. “It was a prophetic vision of mine that you would return in victory and that I would find you here”, he said saluting me with a friendly handshake and a cordial, deeply felt huge around my waist. “After all you have seen, don’t you now possess the confidence and the happiness and the strength to return to you’re fully conscious world?”

“No, sir, I’m not going back, I returned only to pursue my deepest desire, to travel back in time and save my family and my self, back to my childhood and I will face he who lives in the castle and present my case with all I have got”, I spoke in a rather annoyed tone of voice. “Well, Matthew I see you are willing to go the whole way, and if so, you will need me to draw you up a map to get to the mountain ranges in the sky let alone to the castle. The secret lies in the power of the lighthouse. Don’t worry the journey looks and sounds much more difficult than it actually is.”

“Edward what exactly is the name of this land and world?”

“Why, what do you want to call it for it is after all your own sub conscious world!”

I pondered for a few minutes upon his proposal and I simply dubbed it, Utopia, as my ideal place of happiness after heaven itself.”

“Very, good sir, I’m sure with that kind of originality you’ll want to be a writer”, he said scarcastically but in a jovial and harmless way. I changed out of my armor and back into my pajamas. I stabled the horse and said goodbye to as many of the townspeople as I could and of course gave my sweet farewell to the enigmatic, but comically charming Mr. Holden himself, “Good bye, Mr. Holden, see you in my sub consciousness some time soon”, I jested while reminiscing of all he had told me during my adventure.

“God speed Matthew, may you’re hearts greatest dream be granted and whatever strength that you possess you will need entirely for what you face ahead.”

As I walked down the avenues of the cobbled brown streets the townspeople waved and saluted to me, blowing heavy brass trumpets, bugles and horns, I laughed in a simple whimsical joke at the bearded dwarfs, the knights in their silver armor and the townswomen, the beautiful damsels from the memories of my childhood dreams and fairytales.

             I set forth to the magnanimous lighthouse and its descending beam and the dream left a haunting crescendo of the calling of the birds which warbled in farewell as I walked in meek admiration through the tunnels of the forests and out onto a dusty path through the golden orchards which stretch their wooden fingers to the white tower itself, where all my understanding blossomed and I was beckoned from its attraction. The Golden torch lit the path so dazzlingly before, and the valleys behind it were mere shadows of a distant dream, places that I had not been upon my journey.

The door of the lighthouse lay ominously and mysteriously open and I proceeded up the seemingly never ending stairs, then as I was instructed by Holden, I climbed out the top window and I scrabbled up on top of the roof itself. I got the impression and the understanding that there was no lighthouse keeper because I was the lighthouse keeper himself and this represented my insight within myself, my understanding and now within my sight so near and yet so far I saw the mountain ranges in the sky, they look impassable and unconquerable to the weak minded man, but to the visionary who had composed his own fantasy reality this was the penultimate challenge for me to face, however I simply followed the expressed instructions Holden gave me. I focused clearly upon the rays of light that shone unto the sky and beyond, I cleared my head disrupting and destroying all inferior thought to that of which I tried to focus on. I stepped forward expecting to fall but instead I leap across a silver beam condensed within my mind, for it was my world after all and now I spent half an hour trekking forth and onwards across the silver light, then I shouted out in joy as I jumped across the gulf of the sky and I landed as if I were participating in my school long jump, with my feet and arms outstretched in victory.

                                                                  X

Through the dogged terrain of the sweeping mountain paths, I climbed up grueling stone after stone, I watched in the distance to see thousands of distinctively small sheep grazing upon the valleys below and a wind grew fierce as it blew opposed to my desire to reach the top, however it stopped silent as my mind was more focused than ever, so I crept like the mountain cougar over the cut throat crags and rocks for at least an hour, until the maiden castle lay within my sight. The land was barren all around, decimated and plunder of all its value as not a lone flower nor blade of grass were found but mile upon mile of bog as far as the naked eye could behold. The castle was magnificent, anything else it seemed to be mixture of a medieval gothic structure and the symmetry of that from ancient Luxor. It was white like crystal, ghostly white built solidly on each level with seven pillars supporting each floor, on the side of each corner a large white Corinthian styled columns jutted out and to the entrance of the front gate there were dozens of little steps that had flaming torches blazing at either side of the tiny steps. In true definition it could in mortal contrast be compared to the throne of God himself for in mysterious and mystical quality and the sheer ambiguity of the building itself and how it was made left me in awe. At the front door I was surprised to see it already open and vacant as I could see no one inside. Was I expected? It would seem so.

I strolled into a room it was pitch black, I could not see anything, I tried to turn back to the door but I could find it, and now a the dread of death was tingling down my spine and eating away upon my morbid emotion. I waited for something to occur and it did. The ground shook I could not feel anything or hear anything, I lost the power of senses in an instantaneous force that reeled me in. My hearing returned and then I heard a howling wind in the back ground in the distance, but it grew more ferocious like a storm raging on the sea, it seemed to be heading in my direction, it grew louder to the point of deafening and it was right beside me roaring like a wild animal. “Mom,”

I shouted out, “father!”

I shouted continuously as a thousand memories whirled past me, then suddenly I saw in all its sheer glory greater than anything before, a massive explosion with a ring of yellow that spun in perpetual motion and the flame of fire within it contained a glittering patchwork that sparkled and shone greater than the sun itself and the stars, it spoke and called to me within my senses, like a higher form of communication’ A placid feeling filled me like a clam day beside the sea and the tide lashes peacefully against the shore.

It flashed and flashed on and off, and the colours exploded all in eruption at once and then it stopped suddenly.

                                      “Ahh, lord God, oh lord help me”, I shouted out, and I looked around, I felt strange like I had come out of a coma, my body felt completely different my voice was not deep but rather high pitched, my muscles were week and I was bamboozled as I noticed that I was not in the pokey old attic room in my house but in my old bedroom as a child, with Mickey mouse wallpaper and I was wearing my old pink elephant pajamas. Yes, I realized I had jumped the gulf of time and come forth from the cocoon of time travel to emerge back where I belong. I was a ten year old boy again; my hands were small and my mind imaginative. Then to my surprise I saw my mother for the first time in years, her face glowed with her compassion, she was young with her hair so soft and her skin so smooth.

“Hey are you alright Matt”, she said with a hint of concern in her voice, “I am alright now mom, I was lost in a very deep sleep and finally I’m awake again, it feels like I’ve been gone for a long time and now I’m finally home.”

“No you haven’t, you’ve just been sleeping and it seems that way.

How about I go and stick on the television and we warm our cockles up to a lovely cup of hot chocolate.”

“Sounds good to me, mom as its now eight o’clock and it is Saturday, so alright.”

She beamed in response with a toothy grin of pure joy. As soon as she had left I immediately beheld to my surprise something I knew I would see again, it was gran and she was standing at my door, and she waved in response to my disbelieving eyes.

She was old again, and she looked tired and worn out from her back trouble, however she began to speak to me, “I bet you had some good dreams last night.”

“Good dreams gran, good,”

I responded happily. “Well why don’t you come down stairs and we’ll talk about it then,”

“sounds good gran, and by the way this time round things are going to be differently, I am going to make big changes, and we have to warn mom and dad not to fly on that particular day.”

“Don’t worry, at all because we’ll be one step ahead, because time itself has been rearranged for you, its like a parallel dimension except in am instant God himself can change the fabric of reality in a heartbeat when we don’t even notice.”

“Wow, that’s amazing”, I spluttered out not able to hold my contentment.

“That’s the best part of the world we are born into, is that there is are always dreams and hopes for the future they keep us alive and you’re dreams and hopes were strong indeed, many people will give up on these and many will never see the fruition of these dreams diverge into our realities. One day in a place far, far away from here, light years in time ahead you will return to the kingdom that you created and you will preside there as long as you desire.”

“Sounds so good I can’t believe it.”

“Anyway lets go down stairs and talk” she linked me by the arm and we strolled off down the stairs and out into the kitchen. Things had changed, thinks had indeed changed and I am writing this account twenty five years after my adventure thinking about embarking once again into the odyssey of my dreams.