Reflections on the rough and tumbles of the Road -Diary- PART 1 By Robert Fullarton

Reflections on the rough and tumbles of the Road
-Diary- PART 1 By Robert Fullarton

Copyright Robert Fullarton

There are times in life when we cannot see clearly our position and what we should act upon. Sometimes unfortunately we may make the wrong decision and it may come at a terrible cost. It seems, as though the crime is unforgivable and that we are irredeemable. But to be honest, what are we to do? Are we to stand still, falter and surrender to despair? Such is the spiral staircase that can lead us as low as self-harm and even suicide. What good would such actions do for either the individual or their family?
Our weaknesses are all too clear to see in certain moments and in other moments our strengths come alive and we may be surprised! Perfection is unachievable in this morally ambiguous life, even when our heart desires to do the right thing, we may find ourselves doing the wrong thing yet again. It is the case of “I do what I ought not to do!”

You often have to go against the grain in a life of flattery, seduction and false appeal. But alas we may have a very “real moment” or “moment of purity” out from this become more than what we are or more of what we were made to be and “born to be”! But which of us can extend such “purity” in the longevity of a lifetime. The rash, fluctuating of mood, short, spare and tactless person will fall short in time, it is the diagnosis of the human species but the prognosis is an entirely different matter altogether.

A Christian has to tread a fine line often in this life between puritanical religiosity and worldly decadence. But all is clear in love, for those who love, for those who display mercy in heart and action to people who are in desperation or even those who do not deserve it. This is the radical love the Christian exemplifies and perpetuates. This is what we have been called to do by the Christ, because it is the truth and he is the point of reference, for which the hearts of men are tested, measured, given definition and exploration.
Again I do what I ought not to do my body battles my spirit, my carnal nature embattled my new identity in Christ, my temper runs short, my tolerance expires and the pride of a world full of competition and bluff veers me off my course, from my original intention to a calamity of weakness and exposure.

What do I do? Have I not crashed my vehicle into a ditch? I am now baring the spiritual scars and pains I have inflicted upon myself and perhaps upon others. Where do I go and who do I go to? We moderns have given too much faith and time to the psychiatrist and the councillor, whom we pay to offer us “feel good” mantras, passive assistance and new age religion. Despite what may be in vogue with certain circles. I never found such help to be of much use and I unfortunately dabbled in such muck! The crises of the time changes, but it is nonetheless a crises for which a humble heart and believing mind can come to terms with.

Through many times and many days, many minutes, seasons, years, months and tests, both up the ladder at the bottom of a spiritual dung heap, I know that I need the assurance of God. I asked myself who is the one who made it so? Knowledge is partial, it is the insatiable thirst that a finite mortal nibbles at the infinite, struggles to comprehend it and relinquishes to non-believe because the answers come to a non-sequitur of unbelief, cynicism and partial knowledge when it comes to all things, the omnipotent power to know all things alludes mankind in the age of sub-atomic science.
I have thought to myself who made me think and drove my instincts and desires to the formulation of a plan, towards a relationship and indeed it was and is “God who loved us first” and who loved us before we knew him. Religion is stone deaf genuflection without response, without the intricacies of depth, boldness, profundity of love and sacrifice that Christianity is in reality.

Christianity is Jesus Christ, Christianity is about relationship, remember no other world faith, states that you can have a personal relationship, knowledge or access to the presence of God and that God has three persons in his oneness and can be known in return. It is wisely and wonderfully described as a betrothal, an engagement and a marriage, beyond the mists of time, beyond this world, beyond our weaknesses and all the seduction of the world can throw at us and it is also the only faith which has redemption and forgiveness at its centre!